Tag: understanding

Change and influence

Tony Gaskins was credited with saying, “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

I 100% agree with that statement. But I don’t want to just leave it at that. I would add that if you CAN do something about it, then do something. A lot of things are outside of our control, but inside of our influence. We have to take responsibility for our destiny by taking control of our effort and actions.

Did we try our best? Did we give it our all? Is something we’re doing (or not doing) helping produce the results we want? How is our mindset, our diet, exercise, and sleep? Are we learning new things? Are we feeling emotionally and spiritually fulfilled? What are we feeling anxious or stressed about and why?

It’s just like the Serenity Prayer…

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

How to make BETTER decisions FASTER

Work on making BETTER decisions FASTER. If you can quickly grasp concepts, see the big picture, and make sure that your decision aligns with your goals and values, you will go far in life. GREAT leaders can make quick decisions that consistently are the correct decisions (or, at least, mostly correct and move themselves/the team in the right direction).

How can you do this?

1) Practice making decisions quickly on trivial matters. Don’t waste a bunch of time on a decision that doesn’t really matter (like what you’re eating for dinner, what movie you should watch tonight, etc). Practice making small decisions quickly and it will become easier to make bigger decisions quickly. If your decisions come with unintended negative consequences, at least it was over something trivial and you can easily recover from your “mistake.”

2) Be well-read. The more you read about many subjects, the better you can understand and relate concepts. If you have a great base knowledge over many subjects, you should be able to “pick up” a concept quickly. It’s incredible how many concepts overlap.

3) Know who you are. Know what you stand for, what you value, and what your core beliefs are. You should change over the years, but your core values should not. If something doesn’t align with how you believe you should act/behave, then don’t do it. It’s a rules-based system that automatically eliminates certain decisions for you, reducing your choices and making it easier for you to make better decisions quickly.

4) Know what you want/what your goals are. If you know you want six-pack abs, then you probably know you should workout everyday, eat healthy foods, drink plenty of water, and get plenty of sleep. You also probably know that means you shouldn’t binge on pizza and ice cream. When you know what your goals are, it will make it easier for you to make decisions which align with your goals. Make sure you review what it is that you want frequently to keep it top of mind.

Are you smart?

Being good at school is not the same as being smart. You can memorize the right answers but not understand how something works. I was very good at memorizing growing up. But I mistook memorization and good grades for being smart and knowing something. I knew the right answer, but I didn’t always know how to get there. I wasn’t thinking critically, and there is a big difference between knowing an answer and knowing something so well that you not only know the answer, but how to get the answer, can explain it in different ways, and understand the concept.

The Golden Rule

“But to you who are listening I say: ‘Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…Do to others as you would have them do to you.’” Luke 6: 27-31

This is The Golden Rule, taken straight out of the Bible. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Treat others the way you want to be treated. And in today’s world, where everything is politicized and people who have opposite opinions than you are considered “evil,” the best thing we can do for each other is to treat others how we would want to be treated – with kindness, compassion, and understanding.

It’s ok if someone believes something different than you. And instead of trying to shut down anyone who has ever made a mistake (which is everyone, including you), try forgiving them. It’s time to stop being deliberately disrespectful to others (we see this online the most, where everyone is a “tough guy”). Maybe try showing a little compassion for a change? Instead of refusing to listen to different viewpoints, try listening to opposing thoughts – actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to yell at them for not thinking the same way you do.

If you can be more kind, compassionate, and generous, all without the expectation of anything in return, the world will be a better place for it.