Tag: victim

How to deal with our own problems

There are legitimate hurdles and hardships we have to overcome on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis. But most of the hurdles we face in life are not unique to ourselves.

That problem with getting good grades? Or the person who has been bullying you? Something happened to you at work? Or your home life isn’t quite what you want it to be?

You are unique, but the problems you’re facing have been encountered (and overcome) by others.

The issue is when we pity ourselves. Then, it’s not just the obstacle we’re facing anymore. We’ve also added a self-imposed obstacle – our mindset. If we think we can’t do something, that we’re the victim in a situation, or that to overcome the original obstacle will be difficult, it will be!

Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on solutions! Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive. Have faith that you will prevail, try to find answers, and start taking action. Don’t feel bad for yourself and realize that plenty of other people have been in a similar situation as you and they’ve been able to survive/thrive. You can too!

Responsibility and being the hero of your own journey

You are responsible for everything in your life. That doesn’t mean that you are to blame for everything, but if you want to get yourself out of a hole or a dark place, it’s ultimately up to you to do something about it. It’s not up to anybody else to make your life better. Yes, you can ask for help. You can hope someone comes along to make the path a little less treacherous. But you need to be the hero of your own journey – not the victim. Be the person who overcomes struggle and hardship. Let your experiences help you grow.

Playing the victim card vs taking control of your life

Don’t play the victim card. It may be true that you have been victimized. But until recent times, not many people cared and even less people offered to help.

It’s up to you to make your life better – not your family, not your friends, and not the government. If, by some chance, you are fortunate enough to have somebody care and help you out, that’s icing on the cake. But don’t expect that to happen. Nobody owes you anything, especially if they are not the ones who directly harmed you.

If you feel bad about something that has happened, that’s ok. I’m not saying you should be a robot. But I am saying that what’s done is done and you need to move on. Wasting time, energy, and thought on feeling bad for yourself isn’t going to help you moving forward. How can you make your life better starting today?

Don’t keep a victim mindset

Avoid having a victim mindset at all costs. That’s not to say that you haven’t been wronged, or that you are not the victim of bullying, harassment, or unfairness. But staying in that mindset does you no good. Don’t wallow in self-pity. What’s done is done and now you need to figure out a way to not be victimized again and how to thrive in life.

Rethinking the past

You can’t change the past, but you can change how you feel about the it. Do you look back at an event that happened in your life and feel bad? Do you feel like you were the victim in that situation? Or, do you reflect on that event and say that you needed that to happen? That because of that event, you are who you are today. You overcame something and are a better person for it.

You probably didn’t realize how good you have it today, and even though it was difficult previously, so many people still have it so much worse than we do. Not only that, but so many people before us had it worse than us, yet they were able to overcome it and do great things.

Don’t let the past limit what you can do in the future. Use those events as steppingstones to get you to where you want to go.