Tag: victor

How to deal with our own problems

There are legitimate hurdles and hardships we have to overcome on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis. But most of the hurdles we face in life are not unique to ourselves.

That problem with getting good grades? Or the person who has been bullying you? Something happened to you at work? Or your home life isn’t quite what you want it to be?

You are unique, but the problems you’re facing have been encountered (and overcome) by others.

The issue is when we pity ourselves. Then, it’s not just the obstacle we’re facing anymore. We’ve also added a self-imposed obstacle – our mindset. If we think we can’t do something, that we’re the victim in a situation, or that to overcome the original obstacle will be difficult, it will be!

Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on solutions! Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive. Have faith that you will prevail, try to find answers, and start taking action. Don’t feel bad for yourself and realize that plenty of other people have been in a similar situation as you and they’ve been able to survive/thrive. You can too!

Playing the victim card vs taking control of your life

Don’t play the victim card. It may be true that you have been victimized. But until recent times, not many people cared and even less people offered to help.

It’s up to you to make your life better – not your family, not your friends, and not the government. If, by some chance, you are fortunate enough to have somebody care and help you out, that’s icing on the cake. But don’t expect that to happen. Nobody owes you anything, especially if they are not the ones who directly harmed you.

If you feel bad about something that has happened, that’s ok. I’m not saying you should be a robot. But I am saying that what’s done is done and you need to move on. Wasting time, energy, and thought on feeling bad for yourself isn’t going to help you moving forward. How can you make your life better starting today?

Don’t keep a victim mindset

Avoid having a victim mindset at all costs. That’s not to say that you haven’t been wronged, or that you are not the victim of bullying, harassment, or unfairness. But staying in that mindset does you no good. Don’t wallow in self-pity. What’s done is done and now you need to figure out a way to not be victimized again and how to thrive in life.

Challenges

We all face obstacles in our lives, but how we choose to view them is the first step to overcoming them. Do you see this obstacle as your next challenge? Is it something else for you to defeat? Will this add to your life story (where you play the hero/victor)? Or is it more adversity happening to you. Do you let it get you down? (Are you playing the victim card?)

Everyone faces challenges in life. That’s just the way it is. And some people have the cards stacked against them way more than others. It’s not fair, but it is what it is. You have two choices. You can fight to overcome these challenges or you can be the victim and let them overcome you. Either way, the circumstances leading up to your decisions are the same. But the outcome can (and will) be very different.

You don’t have to ignore what has happened or is happening to you. That would be silly. But you don’t have to feed into the negativity either. Figure out how to make it better. Once you have a plan, follow through and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just don’t confuse asking someone to help you with asking for a handout…you need to bring forth effort to get yourself out of the hole you’re in, regardless of how you got there.