Don’t be afraid of losing. Just don’t enjoy it. If you hate losing, you’ll find a way to win. But if you’re afraid of losing, you won’t even try. That’s one of the key differences between success and failure – the ability to keep trying no matter what.
Tag: winning
Consistency and predictability
Good leaders (including good parents) should be consistent and predictable with their actions and responses. What kid/employee would want to “walk around on eggshells” everyday, not knowing if their actions are going to make their parent/boss go berserk?
Aim to be consistent in what you say and how you act. Reward the same actions on a day-to-day basis, and punish the same actions on a day-to-day basis. Don’t be so temperamental. Those around you should know, “if I do X, my boss will be pleased with me. But if I do Y, they will not be happy.”
If we set clear expectations from the beginning, and follow through by rewarding/punishing accordingly, everyone will know the rules of the game and understand how they can win.
Maturity is doing what is best for you, not necessarily what feels good
Prioritize what is important to you. Every decision you make has short-term and long-term consequences. Most of the time, if you can do what’s best for the long-term, you will eventually win. Sometimes that means delaying gratification (not doing what is fun/feels good right now). Dave Ramsey calls that maturity.
Processes vs outcomes
Don’t fall into the trap of only keeping track of your outcomes. It is important to note the difference between the work you put in leading up to the outcome and the outcome itself. What I mean by this is that no matter what you do to prepare for a certain event, there will always be luck involved which is out of your control. For example, you could know the probability that something will occur “X” percent of the time (like a poker hand) and be a relatively good predictor of that thing actually happening. But no matter how much information you have, you have no control over the amount of luck (in your favor or against you) which will occur.
Say you’re playing Texas Hold’em. You’re dealt pocket aces (two of the highest cards) to start the hand. Unless one of your opponents has the other two aces in the deck, you always are starting out with the higher probability of winning before any other cards are shown. But say you lose with that starting hand 3 times in a row. Would you vow to never play pocket aces again, even though statistically you are favored to win? No. That would be valuing the outcome over the process.
The processes you follow should be based on what gives you the best chance to achieve your goals. It may not always work in your favor, but if you are always putting yourself in position to succeed, more often than not, you will.
Measure your processes, not the outcomes. If the outcomes always seem to be going against you, test your assumptions about the processes (maybe you’re missing something). And be sure to not only dwell on the negative outcomes (it’s easier to remember something bad that has happened as opposed to the many good things that have occurred).
Success, happiness, and the life you want for yourself
What does success mean to you? For the longest time, I thought it was being great at your job, making a lot of money, winning (even in competitions you didn’t realize you were/are in). But none of that matters without happiness. If you are able to do those three things, but you’re not happy or those who matter most to you aren’t happy, then what’s the point? Granted, in order to feel happy, you need to feel useful. But you can be useful by doing other things – by helping around the house, by making others feel good when they’re around you, by having a good balance of achieving goals but still relaxing with friends and family…not everything needs to be about hitting goals. If that’s your life, you’ll eventually discover that “winning” something only brings temporary happiness and it never loves you back. Take care of those around you, try to achieve balance in your life, and work at being happier each day. Because, if I have to choose money or happiness, I’d choose happiness.
Happiness EQUALS success.
Success does not necessarily EQUAL happiness.